When told they can’t use the word “bitch,” watch some male heads explode


Do you want to see some inadequate men absolutely loose their minds? Then call them out for using the derogatory term “bitch” during an argument. After reading about Stephen King’s rather, shall we say “bitchy,” take on the Dylan Farrow letter, I wrote this in the comment section:

Calling a woman a “Bitch” is the last bastion of an inadequate man who has lost his palpable ability to argue with reason and intelligence. It is the purview of the narcissistic self-deluded male who needs to go in for this ad hominem attack, which is supposed to disarm and denigrate their female opponent. Little do these spineless neanderthals understand that when they use that word, or its sister the “c” word, that it only empowers us to fight harder and actually lets us know the true underlying nature of the useless man before us.

Needlesstosay many of the male commentors took exception to my characterization of those who use this term against a woman. Told me I was name-calling. So not only did they miss the major point of the discourse, but they whined, having  felt violated by my comment. What they also failed to see was that their screeds actually proved my point.

Questions have been raised by sociologists about the type of men we are raising in the United States. In fact, much has been discussed about education itself and how it is anything but conducive to the male way of learning. What many call the feminization of education has led to a dearth of males in higher education (whether post-secondary or vocational), which has further led to a dearth of acceptable marital partners for the next generation.

Meanwhile,what it has also led to is males who continually blame women for their problems and issues, while never seeking to improve their own lot in life. Hence the need to call a woman a “bitch” or denigrate a woman’s success. Yes it is part and parcel of the new American catechism of lack of responsibility. But it is also part and parcel of old world misogyny. A confluence of ideas, perceptions and theology, so to speak, that makes it easier for some to disavow their own ineptitude.

This attitude is an interesting reflection of American culture as it evolves or in this case devolves. A man’s future is no longer absolute. They are challenged by women for control of society. They are challenged in every aspect of their daily lives by women who ask questions and demand answers. Women no longer just accept maleness as an excuse for actions and demand responsibility from men for their choices.

Truth is, that in past generations manliness was about taking responsibility and taking care of those you loved. It doesn’t seem that that is the accepted case anymore. In fact there seems to be very little direction for males in American society except to have it pointed out that no matter what they do, they are wrong. That is definitely not the way to raise healthy and functioning adults. It is as if society is telling men they are not allowed to be, well, men.

If you expect your son to grow into a man who is capable and strong for some reason society deems that wrong. Yet if you allow him to wallow that is even worse. There is no happy medium for males in America anymore. Strength and fortitude are looked down upon. Many deem these characteristics as part and parcel of patriarchy. Yet it doesn’t have to be that way. A self-realized man, who understands the new parameters of society and who is willing to work alongside a female partner is someone we should be raising. A man who understands that his goal is life is to enable his partner to choose their own path, while they chose theirs. This “man” is strong, able and focused on life. It doesn’t mean they are controlling or an adherent to the concept of pater familias.

A truly strong man is not to be feared, maligned or shunted aside. But is someone we all hope our sons will become and hope ourselves that we choose for a life partner. He is a helpmate, a partner, your ally against the world. He is there to support you in your moments of terror and share your happiness when you succeed. And ultimately your offspring mean even more to him, then either of you could ever mean to each other.

Unfortunately many men in society today though, instead of expanding their horizons and instead of actually deciding to figure out the rules for the future, socially inept men, who have no way of thinking outside their little boxes, decide to bully females with denigrating characteristics meant to disarm, fluster and “put the woomen-folk in their place.” These men employ any negative characterization of females to demote strong, self-actualized  women on the cultural class scale. By the way, don’t make the mistake of assuming that a financially successful male doesn’t fit into this paradigm. It is not about the size of bank account, but a way of thinking and perceiving the world.

While America was always thought of as a classless society, in the sense that England has  a noble and a common class, we have always had an economic sense of ourselves. It is how we judged ourselves. That was our power indicator rather than inherited titles. In America today, that power dynamic is changing merely because more and more women are becoming economically self-sufficient. Society has evolved over the past decades to give women the choice of how they run their lives. This choice may not include males and if  it does, then women require and demand an equal footing in the relationship. This reality threatens many males in our society, who are not, and never would be the equal to any woman.

Truly, a person (male or female) of self-worth has no issue with a shifting power paradigm and perspective. They have no issue understanding that what they have earned is fleeting if they don’t have a way to hold onto what they have created. They understand that they will be challenged by others in life, from both genders. A person of self-worth does what is necessary to retain their success without denigrating those who challenge them. In fact, in many cases, a person of self-worth actually learns from the challenge and betters themselves and their environment.

In reality, using the word “bitch,” is no different from a racial or ethnic slur, which was always used to lift up the user in their own minds eye, against a group of “others” that they feared. Using the word “bitch” is no different from calling someone “retarded.”  It’s purposeful use is to cast a grievous insult, which results in dehumanizing both those with intellectual disabilities, as well as the bullied. Just as the word “bitch” is meant to dehumanize a woman. Males who are losing their power and have decided that the tide of societal change is unwarranted, unfair or completely stacked against them, resort to the most basic of slurs in order to assuage their own egos and their own failures.

Now are these males the ones to blame for their psychology? Are they to be pitied for their own inadequacy? Well in the immediate, yes, on both counts. People make choices about how they deal with discord. Sadly, it is true that these misogynistic men may not have the ability to deal with the requirements of the new social reality where their perspectives are challenged, and need to lash out against their own loss of power. Yet that does not mean they should be allowed to bully, malign or denigrate others. On the other hand they should be pitied in some respects, for society will, and should, leave them behind as it evolves into the next better sphere.

An extremely important note: one of the most wonderful of God’s creatures is a female dog, aka a “bitch.” She is fierce, loyal and brave (not unlike her male counterpart). Remember to never attack her pups or you will be taught exactly what the word “bitch” really means. Don’t Yell Just Embrace your Inner-Bitch

About Elise Ronan

Political independent, US Constitution, Bill of Rights, special needs advocate
This entry was posted in economy, education, ethics, feminism, freedom, human rights, ideals, liberal, liberty and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to When told they can’t use the word “bitch,” watch some male heads explode

  1. jbkburack says:

    The term bitch itself is uninteresting to me in the extreme. What does interest me is the easy resort to phrases like “when told they cant use the word. . .” Despite the control-freak presumption here, people who do this telling actually convince themselves they are fighting FOR freedom, not against it. I really do not mind being called names of any sort, including “spineless neanderthal,” all in the interests of thwarting men who go in for ad hominem attacks, mind you. But please don’t kid yourself you are aiding anyone’s liberation. It is not so.

    • asd2mom says:

      Actually since I can assume that you are a male I doubt someone has ever resorted to calling you a bitch and having to live with its denigration. The purpose of using that word is to destroy the person before you, to make them less human.There is no other reason for it. However, I am aware that men have taken to calling each other “bitch” in fits of pique in today’s society. So maybe you have come up against it and thought nothing of its use. That is of course your right.

      I never said it was about “freedom” but about the right to not be dehumanized. These are not necessarily the same thing, even though the right to be considered human is the precursor to freedom.

      Now if you don’t mind being characterized as someone devoid of any sensitivity and respect for others in society that is your right. Or you don’t care if someone calls you names. Then so be it. But if you polled most people they do not like to be bullied and have very little respect for those that do. I would also say that those who bully are considered spineless neanderthals. Bullies are not the heroes of society. Those who do for others are considered the epitome of who we would strive to become.

      This is also not a control freak issue, but a civility issue. The truth is that for a society to be healthy and productive there needs to be a modicum of civility. Rules and expectations of behavior were once actually called etiquette and manners. It used to be ingrained into us as children. This civility has deteriorated over decades. Today in the name of political correctness, denigration and dehumanization of those that disagree with you is common fare and it is completely acceptable to use vile language. Yes in days gone by they looked to destroy an opponent, particularly in the political world, but if you read the language of the past you will find that they could do the same thing without resorting to vile discourse. There are ways to say things that can be said with elegance and class. Even when you disagree with someone.

      The truth be told is that simply because you have the right to say something doesn’t mean you should say it. and simply because someone has the right to say something doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be brought to task for what they said and how they said it either.

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